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By Rabbi Gershon Avtzon 

I have the merit to give a speech every Shabbas in Yeshiva after Krias Hatorah. I work hard to find a story and a thought on the Parsha that I can translate and apply to the lives and Avodah of young Mesivta-age Talmidim.

While I work to prepare every speech that I give, as “if you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail”, there are a few speeches a year that I work especially hard (a few weeks in advance) to prepare: 1) The first speech of the year in which I try to outline the vision and goals for the new year and find connections to the Parsha. 2) The last speech of the year in which we review the lessons that we learned from the past year and trying to connect it to the Parsha. 3) Parshas Teruma.

Why Parshas Teruma? The way the calendar is set up, it is usually Parshas Teruma which is the best shabbas for us to host our annual father-son shabbas. It is a very important opportunity to create the much-needed connection between the parents and their son (as many times, children that grow up in a big family bh have never had a shabbas alone with their father) and the parents with the Yeshiva (which many parents are so busy that they do not take the effort to try to foster that connection and they just rely on the rule that “no news is good news”). In my opinion, these connections are fundamental and essential for a boy to be successful in his teenage years these days (Od Chazon L’moed iyh).

The speech is usually divided into three parts:

1) Focusing on the importance of the overall connection between the fathers and their children (and the Yeshiva).

2) Really explaining to the Talmidim the importance of keeping a strong connection with their parents – not just to call for more money! – while they are in Yeshiva.

3) Trying to explain to the parents to appreciate the unique age and stage that their sons are going through between 14-17. I try to be creative in the preparation and the delivery of this very important speech. I call it my “state of the union (Yeshiva)” address.

While I will not share the contents of this year’s speech, as many of the parents are bh regular readers of this column (hint: It will be focused on Parshas Shekalim, not parshas Teruma!), I will share one the thoughts of last years speech – which is from an actual Pirush and not personal D’rush –  and I hope it will give you food for thought in your own relationships with your children.

In the Parshas Akeida, which is the symbol of mesiras nefesh of the Jewish people, the Torah (Bereishis 22:7) tells us: “Then Yitzchak said to his father Avraham, “Father!” And he answered, “Yes, my son.” And he said, “Here are the firestone and the wood; but where is the sheep for the burnt offering?” There is an obvious question: Seemingly the first part of the verse, then Yitzchak said to his father Avraham, “Father!” And he answered, “Yes, my son.” – is it totally extra and insignificant?

The Klei Yakar answers: “But Yitzchak had not yet said anything to him, but rather just called him, “Father,” and was quiet. This was because Yitzchak felt that it was his father’s will to sacrifice him as a burnt-offering. So he thought, “If so, he does not have mercy upon me like the mercy of a father upon his children, and has become cruel towards me.” As he did not yet know that it was the will of his Creator. Hence he called him, “Father,” to test him; [to see] whether he would answer him, since it was still affixed in his heart that he was his son; or whether he had already removed him from his heart as if he were not his son. As through this, he wanted to know who would be slaughtered. And when he answered him, “Here I am, my son,” and indicated to him that all of his longings towards him were still [there]”.

In simple words: Before Yitzchak allowed himself to be (potentially) sacrificed on the altar, he wanted to confirm that his relationship with his father is on solid footing. Once he saw that his father turned to him and called him “my son”, he realized that this sacrifice is coming from the deep love and heart of his father and he was ready to do whatever his father wanted from him.

We all want our children to live a life of idealism in which they dedicate themselves – and many times it comes with great sacrifice – to the mission that the Rebbe gave each of us “to prepare ourselves and the world around us for the coming of Moshiach. For our children to be inspired and ready to go through the sacrifice that we want from them to do, they must have a real and deep relationship with us – their parents.

This Wednesday, 28 Shevat, is my birthday. I wish all my dedicated readers a bracha to have much Chassidishe Nachas from all your children and we should merit the revelation of the Rebbe – NOW!

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Rabbi Gershon Avtzon is the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Lubavitch Cincinnati and a well-sought-after speaker and lecturer. Please feel free to share your thoughts on the above by sending me a R’ Avtzon email: [email protected].

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