Follow ChabadInfo & Never Miss an Update!

Follow us on Instagram Subscribe to our WhatsApp status and broadcast Follow us on Tiktok Follow us on Facebook Follow us on X Follow us on Google News Subscribe on YouTube

Celebrating Birthdays

There is a discussion in sefarim about whether it is a Jewish custom to celebrate and commemorate birthdays. Some poskim suggest that the reason we find the concept of celebrating birthdays in Torah only with regard to non-Jews is that, “Noach lo le’adam shelo nivra mi’shenivra,” it would be better for a person not to have been created than to have been created.

Nonetheless, many Gedolei Yisrael recognized the importance of commemorating a birthday, and it has become the accepted practice among Yidden to do so. The meaning of “Noach lo shelo nivra mi’shenivra” is that it would have been easier for a person not to have been created; however, it is certainly preferable for the person to have been created so that they can fulfill the unique purpose for which their neshama was sent down into this world. No other neshama that was, or will ever be born can fulfill that particular purpose. Many traditional sources attest to the fact that a birthday confers a special mazal, power, on both Jews and non-Jews. In addition, it is a day of cheshbon ha’nefesh, taking an accounting of one’s behavior over the past year, and resolving to do better in the future, as well as a time to give shevach v’hodayah, praise, to Hashem for having been born.

All agree that the birthday of a tzaddik is a special day, and should be marked as a day of celebration to thank Hashem for sending down such a special neshama. Halacha2Go #272

Is celebrating anniversaries and “round number” birthdays a Jewish thing?

There is a particular appeal to round numbers, usually associated with birthdays and anniversaries, when a big deal is made of the celebrant and their milestone. There is not much support for this common practice within Torah literature of yore. The Arugas Habosem writes that celebrating a landmark birthday may actually be chukas ha’goyim (non-Jewish practice that is Biblically banned).

Nonetheless, we do find that there were Gedolei Yisrael who have commemorated these milestones publically – such as a sixtieth or seventieth birthday (often marking it as a celebration of note with the recital of she’hechiyanu). It has become increasingly popular in the most strictly observant communities to mark the yahrtzeit (anniversary of passing) of a distinguished personality in a special manner when it reaches round numbers: 25, 50, 75, and on. Indeed, these events are commendable, as they enhance Yiras Shamayim (fear of Heaven) among the participants. Poskim subsequent to the Arugas Habosem argue that such a Torah-true experience would have been encouraged by the author himself, and his admonition applies to the type of festivity that has negative results.

When the guest of honor is an adam chashuv (a prestigious individual) and a role model, or the dear departed is a tzaddik whose works and accomplishments are promoted at the commemoration, it is certainly endorsed by halacha. Halacha2Go #640*

Q. Does the Torah ascribe any significance to the secular birthdate (besides getting legal documents, etc.)?

A. Though some say that “a person’s life is numbered according to solar years, as is the life of any growing thing, for example, trees and the like” (R’ Saadya Gaon in his commentary on Bereishis), nonetheless, the secular birthday shouldn’t be recognized or celebrated beyond legal requirements [especially as currently it has become associated with avoda zara]. #10835

Cake Smash

Q. Is one allowed to “cake” the birthday boy (smash the birthday cake in his face)?

A. One is not allowed to waste any type of food intentionally. In this case it also involves disgracing food. Therefore, this practice is not allowed according to halacha. #9186*

Aliyah

Q. If the Minyan I normally attend on Shabbos has a Simcha and I can’t get an Aliya at Shacharis for my upcoming birthday, should I attend another Shul where I can, or is it just as good to get an Aliya at Mincha?

A. An aliya at Mincha is also fine. #27695*

Q. My birthday is on Shabbos this year. Do I get my Aliya also on the Shabbos before my birthday or just on my birthday?

A. On the Shabbos of the birthday.

Q. Is there an inyan for a father to get an Aliya for a son (who is under Bar Mitzva) and a daughter, on the Shabbos before their birthday?

Is there an Inyan to get an Aliya on their birthday if it falls out on a Monday or Thursday?

A. There is indeed an inyan for parents to observe minhagei yom huledes on their young children’s birthdays, until they reach an appropriate level of understanding to do so on their own. This however doesn’t necessarily apply to aliya l’Torah.

Nonetheless, there were certain cases where the Rebbe advised for the father to get an aliya on the Shabbos before (and/or on the day of the birthday if it’s a Yom Kriah) for sons until Bar Mitzva and for daughters.

25