Question: I’ve experienced and been told that it’s good to vent. “Daaga b’lev ish, yashchena,”
I’m wondering though how this can work if it can turn on Lashon Hora. For example if someone said something rude or unjustified and one wants to share it, many times sharing the name explains the full situation. Because it’s not so much the words that are said but who said those words.
So how can venting be done in a correct way?
Answer: If necessary, one may vent about an insult etc. and include the person’s name, provided one meets the following conditions:
1. The objective is only to vent so that you feel better and nothing else. The venting is what makes makes you feel better and not putting someone else down.
2. Speaking directly to the person who insulted you etc. would not be productive.
3. You do not have any other options to make yourself feel better.
4. You are talking about something that you experienced directly and not that you heard from someone else.
5. Before talking to someone else you must first reexamine the scenario calmly to determine if you are truly in the right and the other person’s action was unwarranted etc.
6. You may only tell one person.
7. There won’t be a significant negative fallout to the person who insulted you.
8. You may not exaggerate and you may not leave out details that would show the other side in a more positive light.