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By Ari Rubin, Beis Moshiach Magazine

101 years have passed since the first meeting of the Rebbe Rayatz and his future son-in-law, the Rebbe MH”M, a connection that developed then, with the young chassan becoming the most loyal Chassid of his father-in-law, the sixth leader of the Lubavitch dynasty, and later his successor.

Who can presume to put into words even a fraction of the depth of the bond between the Rebbe and his father-in-law, the Rebbe Rayatz, something that mere mortals cannot begin to know or comprehend.

However, from what was seen and heard, as little as it was, we can document the encounters between the Rebbe and the Rebbe Rayatz, that year, 5783.

FIRST MEETING

The Rebbe was twenty-one years old when he first went to meet the sixth Nasi of Lubavitch. Since he was born, he had grown and developed, physically and  spiritually, under the wings of his great father, the mekubal, Rabbi Levi Yitzchok, first in Nikolaev and later in Yekaterinoslav. The Rebbe Rashab was the Rebbe in Lubavitch during that time though the gifted young man did not go there, nor to Rostov.

His father did not send him to Lubavitch. At farbrengens, the Chassidim would say that this reminded them of the Baal Shem Tov’s instruction not to bring the young Shneur Zalman to him, since his soul ‘belonged’ to his disciple, the Mezeritcher Maggid. Chassidim said the Rebbe came to the Rebbe Rayatz when he was older because he ‘belonged’ to him and not to his father, the Rebbe Rashab. Obviously, these are heavenly matters whose depth is beyond us.

Interestingly, a few years later, at a farbrengen, the Rebbe Rayatz suddenly turned to his son-in-law-to-be and his brother Leibel, who was there and said, “It’s a great pity on you in general.” Then he turned to the Rebbe and said, “And you in particular, that you didn’t get to know my father.”

The first time the Rebbe went to Rostov where the Rebbe Rayatz was based, was for Sukkos 5683. Years later, the Rebbe’s secretary, Rabbi Chaim Mordechai Isaac Chodakov wrote in his diary, “Today, the Rebbe told me that the first time he met his father-in-law was on Sukkos 5683 in Rostov.”

Even before the Rebbe came to the Beis Chayeinu of that time, his heart and soul were alert to the spiritual matters of the Rebbe Rayatz who had become Nasi in 5680. The Rebbe would study the maamarim that were sent to Yekaterinoslav, to his father. It was said that the Rebbe would even guess how the Rebbe Rayatz would continue in the following maamarim, for these comprised a series. In fact, it wasn’t long before the next kuntres would come and what he said matched in a wondrous way what was in the kuntreisim that the Rebbe Rayatz wrote.

‘HILCHOS MENDEL’

Chassidim say that one time, as the Rebbe Rashab spoke with his wife, Rebbetzin Shterna Sarah about a shidduch for their granddaughter, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka, the Rebbe said, “We should consider Levik’s son.”

In the years following the passing of the Rebbe Rashab, his wife sent a letter to the Chassid, R’ Elchonon Dov (Chonye) Morosov in which she expressed her great sorrow that due to travel difficulties between Rostov, where the Rebbe Rayatz lived, and Yekaterinoslav, where the Rebbe lived, the shidduch was delayed. Because of this, she often went to the tziyun of her great husband to pray that the shidduch come to fruition.

Indeed, travel between the two places was replete with danger because of the communist revolution and the civil war going on during those years. It was first in 5682 that travel restrictions were removed and the roads were open for travel throughout Russia. Therefore, it was arranged for the Rebbe to go to the one who would become his father-in-law.

In the summer of that year, the Rebbe Rayatz’s family went to the spa city of Kislovodsk in the Caucasus region for vacation. The Rebbe Rayatz visited them for two weeks and also invited his future son-in-law to join him there and meet his daughter for a possible shidduch.

The Chassid, R’ Eliyahu Chaim Altheus, wrote about the Rebbe going to that town. “I was the first who merited, not because of my deeds, that the Rebbe [Rayatz] revealed to me in yechidus in his chamber in the summer of 5683 the secrets of his pure heart and preternatural thought, that he wanted to give his dear daughter to that man [the Rebbe] about whom I will speak now… I was the first shliach mitzva. He chose me to make the opening move to bring him from Yekaterinoslav to Kislovodsk. I was a simple servant who did as he was commanded.”

The Rebbe spent two weeks with the Rebbe Rayatz and his family. Then the Rebbe joined the Rebbe Rayatz and Rashag, who went back to Rostov. After spending another week with the Rebbe Rayatz, the father sent a letter to his daughter, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka, who had remained in Kislovodsk. In the letter, he described his impression of the young man and what they did when they were together:

“My daughter, this week I thoroughly studied ‘Hilchos Mendel,’ nearly every day until last night, a few hours a day. On Sunday, the three of us [the Rebbe Rayatz, Rashag and the Rebbe] spent all day together and it was very pleasant. He stayed here for Shabbos and will probably go home on Sunday… He was left with a very good, pleasant impression from the Caucasus. He would like to go for another walk on the mountain, especially the walk until the mountain. I can say that I know him somewhat. He was very pleased by the reception. He had never seen such a mode of conduct, very homey and friendly, which adds a lot.”

DRAW HIM CLOSE

From then on, the relationship slowly began to become familial, even as the young bachur became a loyal Chassid, to the depths of his soul, of the Rebbe Rayatz.

The next time the Rebbe visited his future family was in Tishrei 5684. That month, the Rebbe closely observed the conduct of his future father-in-law and learned a lot from his conduct and the conduct of the Chassidim whom he got to know up close.

In later years, the Rebbe mentioned some episodes from Rostov. In 5729, the Rebbe said, “When I was at the Rebbe, my father-in-law, in Rostov, I saw tekios for the first time without a reader saying [which sound comes next].”

Rebbetzin Shterna Sarah began to see how the shidduch was taking form and she was delighted. She sent another letter to R’ Morosov in which she told him that her son, the Rebbe Rayatz, was very happy with the yungerman he brought to his house, a yungerman who sat and learned through the night.

They say that the veteran chozrim had a hard time with a certain piece in a maamar that the Rebbe Rayatz said on Shavuos. Then, one of the chozrim noticed a bachur sitting on the side of the Beis Medrash, immersed in learning. He went over to him and presented the problem. On the spot, the Rebbe quoted the missing sentence and even added an explanation about the subject.

During the winter of 5684, the Rebbe visited Rostov a few more times. There were many who remembered him from the Yud-Tes Kislev farbrengen which took place that year. At this farbrengen, the Rebbe stood and looked continuously at the Rebbe Rayatz without removing his gaze.

Suddenly, the Rebbe Rayatz began to speak about the spiritual significance of the mitzva of “peru u’revu” which is to be involved in spreading Torah and Yiddishkeit with mesirus nefesh. All who heard this sensed that this was directed at the young bachur.

As though to ratify that feeling, the Rebbe Rayatz suddenly turned to the elder Chassidim and said, “Give him l’chaim and be mekarev him.”

APPARENTLY IN CONNECTION WITH THE SHIDDUCH

Along with the family connection, the Rebbe became an amazing Chassid of the Rebbe Rayatz, binding his soul with the Rebbe in an eternal bond. Although the Rebbe frequently spent time with his future father-in-law and they spoke a lot, as the Rebbe Rayatz described in his letter to his daughter, the first official yechidus took place in the winter of 5684.

What occurred at that yechidus? Of course, nobody knows but when the Rebbe left the room, his face was aflame in a unusual manner. Chassidim who noticed this, decided that the young man was head-and-shoulders above and it was worthwhile to observe his conduct.

Rabbi Zalman Shimon Dworkin, then a talmid in Tomchei Tmimim, described what he remembered of the Rebbe’s visits to the Rebbe Rayatz:

“He was then in the ‘Beis HaRav’ and apparently was there in connection with the shidduch. Once, he wanted to test the talmidim of the yeshiva but he ended up avoiding doing so. He was introverted and did not mingle much in the zal with the bachurim, because he was removed by himself.”

GROWING BOND OF TRUST

Under the terrifying pressure of the GPU, the Rebbe Rayatz had to leave Roston in 5684 together with his family and move, along with the Chassidic nucleus, to Leningrad (Petersburg). This city was more central and the Rebbe Rayatz hoped that his activities for the Jewish people and strengthening Judaism would draw less attention there.

After the move to Leningrad, the Rebbe visited his future father-in-law even more frequently. At this time, Rebbetzin Chana went to the home of the Rebbe Rayatz for the first time, in order to meet with the future daughter-in-law. She visited the future mechutanim’s home nearly every day and even ate in their home.

The Rebbetzin wrote in her memoirs:

“I would recall my son, in the period before he departed from us [in 5688]… At that time, the Rebbe [his father-in-law to be] zatzal – who immediately recognized his lofty qualities – practically did not let him out of sight, time and again calling him in to him for some other matter. He said then that he was appointing him as ‘Sar HaChinuch’ [Minister of Education]. On numerous occasions, when there was a need for ‘lomdus’ or general knowledge for some purpose – the Rebbe [Rayatz] would place the matter in his hands to bring it to fruition.”

Words full of emotion and love of a mother for her oldest son.

An example of the trust the Rebbe Rayatz had in his future son-in-law is seen in the following story. One day, Professor Barteshenko went to the Rebbe Rayatz and asked for the meaning of the Magen Dovid according to Kabbala and astronomy. The Rebbe Rayatz said “I’ll call for my ‘Minister of Education…’” [In a letter written by the Rebbe Rayatz in connection with this, the Rebbe is called, ‘the secretary of our academic committee’].

In the wake of this inquiry, the Rebbe was called to Leningrad in order to prepare a response. The Rebbe ended up staying in the city for about three months, in the course of which he wrote a comprehensive work which included explanations about the meaning of the Magen Dovid according to Nigleh, Kabbala, as well as insights and allusions based on astronomy, and he translated it all into Russian. Over time, the Rebbe traveled additional times to Leningrad for this work and even mentioned this later on at a farbrengen that took place about sixty years later, in 5745.

At that time, the treasures of the Rebbe Rayatz’s library were opened to the Rebbe and many sefarim, which were previously inaccessible to him, served him in his studies, as well as all the manuscripts of the Rebbeim which the Rebbe was permitted to learn from to his heart’s desire.

The Rebbe Rayatz expressed pride, to his secretaries and those who worked with him in secret, in his future son-in-law and said unusual words of praise about him which astonished the listeners who realized that a great future was destined for the young chassan.

THE CHASSIDIM WHISPER ABOUT THE FUTURE SHIDDUCH

Even before the shidduch was officially announced, it was spoken about among the Chassidim. Many hoped it would become official already.

On Tisha B’Av 5685, Rabbi Shlomo Yosef Zevin visited the Rebbe Rayatz’s court. The Rebbe was there at the time. R’ Zevin later wrote in his memoirs of that visit:

“Before I left, the Rebbe Rayatz said to me that the son of the Rav from Yekaterinoslav was suggested for his daughter. Since it appeared that I would be setting out that day on a long journey in his company, since he was also going home, he asked me to check him out.

“When I got home, I wrote to the Rebbe Rayatz that I wasn’t that surprised by his greatness in Torah and by the fact that in every Torah topic I discussed with him he was amazingly knowledgeable, because word that the intended son-in-law was great in Torah had already reached me. But I was particularly amazed by his yiras shomayim. One example is that he kept avoiding joining the meal with the food that had been given to us from the Rebbe’s house to sustain us on the long trip.”

Of course, the Rebbe did not reveal his secret reason, but Rabbi Zevin assumed it was because he did not find a proper place to wash netilas yadayim on the train.

While in Leningrad, the Rebbe often visited the Pulkovo Observatory. In the written testimony of Yeshaya Sherr, he told of the Rebbe’s room during the time he lived in Leningrad:

“I was immediately impressed by the room of Mendel, the walls of which are covered with astronomical maps. Like a hundred witnesses, the maps testified to his unusual field of interest. Aside from the daily heaping portion of in-depth study of Gemara, poskim and Chassidus, he engaged in the study of and research of the movements of the stars and constellations. And all this, of course, with precise mathematical calculations.”

During this time, the Rebbe often visited with Rabbi Yosef Rosen, the Rogotchover Gaon, who lived in Leningrad. The Rebbe and the gaon would sit and discourse on a variety of Torah topics. Even after the Rebbe moved away, they kept up a Torah correspondence. The Rebbe later referred to his acquaintance with the gaon, “I knew him… I would come and go by him.”

The Chassid, R’ Yisroel Jacobson, who was very close with Beis Rebbi, said in his memoirs that when he went to Leningrad in 5685, he met the Rebbe at the home of the Rebbe Rayatz. This was in advance of a meeting between him and Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka. Rebbetzin Nechama Dina, mother of the bride-to-be, arranged refreshments on the table.

During his stay in Leningrad, the Rebbe continued to take note of all that he saw at the Rebbe Rayatz. The Rebbe sought out information on the customs of the Chassidim and of Beis Rebbi. These practices were engraved in his memory and are the basis for the practices and customs of all Chabad Chassidim today. The Rebbe sometimes compared practices that he saw in his father’s home with those that he first saw at Beis Rebbi.

For example, in 5729, the Rebbe said this about the Niggun Hakafos:

“I heard this niggun from my father z’l but I did not ask him the source of the niggun. But when I was at my father-in-law, the Rebbe, in Petersburg, I did not hear them sing this niggun at hakafos.”

The Rebbe cited many practices done in the home of the Rebbe Rayatz. For example, “At the home of my father-in-law, the Rebbe, I never saw them use olive oil for Shabbos and Yom Tov candles; wax candles were used.”

Needless to say, the Rebbe merited to receive special attention from the Rebbe Rayatz which was expressed on all levels; in personal conversation in which he explained to him the deepest secrets of Toras HaChassidus, as if to guide the future Rebbe.

We can see the special relationship between the Rebbe Rayatz and the Rebbe from the fact that at one of the Rebbe Rayatz’s farbrengens, the Rebbe walked in somewhat late. Therefore, he stood quietly near one of the Chassidim. When the Rebbe Rayatz saw him, he stopped speaking and motioned to his secretary, R’ Chatshe Feigin to give him a chair.

Another incident is one the Rebbe himself related. “Once, when I was in Petersburg, my master and father-in-law, the Rebbe was standing for ‘V’yiten Lecha.’ Although I was standing off to the side, my father-in-law called me by name to come over and say ‘V’yiten Lecha’ together with him from the siddur.”

‘HE STAYED IN MY ROOM’

As time went on, the Rebbe Rayatz drew the Rebbe in, more and more, to his communal works, with his door open to any request and question from the Rebbe.

The Rebbe’s schedule was full, but exactly what he did, nobody knew. The Chassid, R’ Refael Nimotin, who lived in Leningrad at the time and hosted the Rebbe in his home, related in his memoirs:

“At the time, the Rebbe shlita lived in our house. He stayed in my room and when I came [from yeshiva] we were in the same room… We did not know much about him, just this, that he was the chassan of the Rebbe Rayatz’s middle daughter.

“His nobility and great seriousness are indescribable. He was always occupied. He wasn’t idle for even a second. Most of the time he learned or wrote. He would almost always come to the room last and leave first. He was introverted, preoccupied, and hardly spoke to anyone.

“I remember that one night I saw him learning and writing stenography in English. I wondered how he knew stenography and English and I asked him. He said, ‘Believe me, if I have no need for them nor will I have a need for them, I wouldn’t look at them.’”

Another incident from which we get a glimpse of the secret assignments he was given by the Rebbe Rayatz at that time, was told by the Rebbe himself in yechidus:

“In Leningrad, the Rebbe [Rayatz] once called me to his room and told me about a certain person who was expected to come to town. He asked me to occupy him so that this person ‘wouldn’t get himself into trouble,’ whether to appoint him as gabbai or to give him some other responsibility.”

At the beginning of Iyar 5687, the Rebbe Rayatz went from Leningrad to Moscow to meet with the chairman of the Joint in order to persuade him to allocate money for the chadarim and yeshivos. This meeting entailed mesirus nefesh and for any normal person it would entail tremendous tension.

Shortly before he left for the train station, the Rebbe went to the Rebbe Rayatz and spoke to him. The Rebbe later repeated their conversation at a farbrengen in 5730:

“When I went to him… I saw my father-in-law, the Rebbe, sitting in utter serenity, like in the middle of an ordinary day without anything special going on, without any sign of disturbance being apparent on him, while being involved in something at that time that demanded concentration.

“True, the mind rules the heart by its very nature… but still, to that extent? I could not restrain myself and I asked, ‘To that extent?’ And my father-in-law told me that he heard, apparently from his father, the Rebbe Rashab… that there is something called success with time.”

As they spoke, the Rebbe Rayatz explained this concept in depth to the Rebbe, and at the end of the conversation, the Rebbe Rayatz left for the train station.

A CHASSAN LIKE THIS – I WON’T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE!

A few weeks later, the Rebbe Rayatz was arrested by evil KGB agents. At the time, the Rebbe was on his way to his father-in-law’s house. As he approached the house, he saw the house was lit up. He realized something unusual was going on. The Rebbe began walking around the house to investigate what was going on. His fiancee noticed him from the window and called out, “Schneerson, guests came to bury us.”

The Rebbe immediately realized who these “guests” were and he ran to the home of R’ Eliyahu Chaim Altheus. R’ Eliyahu Chaim quickly organized and together, they began working to rescue the Rebbe. The first thing they did was run to the Rebbe Rayatz’s secretary, R’ Chaim Lieberman, to urge him to burn all incriminating documents. Indeed, a few hours later, the KGB went to his house too and realized they were too late. Many details about the Chassidim were saved thanks to the quick thinking of the future son-in-law.

The Rebbe led the askanim that night, in rescuing his father-in-law, the Rebbe.

The Rebbe Rayatz was thinking about his household, including his future son-in-law, as he wrote in his diary:

“What is happening at my house at this time? And what is happening with the one meant to be my son-in-law, Mr. Menachem, who went to the home of my secretary, Mr. Lieberman. Was he G-d forbid also caught?”

The Rebbe Rayatz was very worried about the fate of the holy manuscripts of the Rebbeim which he had.

“Did the wicked ones take them too?” he wondered. Apparently, on this front as well, the Rebbe’s cleverness helped save the precious manuscripts, for he had them transferred to a protected place.

Some time after the release of the Rebbe Rayatz from prison, preparations began for his leaving the Soviet Union. The Rebbe Rayatz submitted a list of his family members for whom he requested permission to leave Russia, and he included his future son-in-law.

“When the officials reached my son’s name,” related Rebbetzin Chana, “they asked, ‘Why do you need him?’ The Rebbe said he wanted him as the chassan for his daughter. When they asked, ‘Do you also need to take a son-in-law from here?’ he firmly said, ‘A son-in-law like this I won’t be able to find anywhere else!’”

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