The Test That Lifts You
“I travel a lot for work, often to places that don’t observe my level of kashrut. I used to bring my own food or stick strictly to what I knew was within my standards. Sometimes that meant eating very little. Over time, I became more lenient—I’ll now eat things without a hechsher, telling myself, “It’s probably fine, and I need to eat.” But I know deep down it’s not right. I want to return to how I used to be, but I can’t seem to get back there.” • Aharon Schmidt replies, from the Living Jewish’s Farbrengen column • Read More
By Aharon Schmidt, Living Jewish
Question: I travel a lot for work, often to places that don’t observe my level of kashrut. I used to bring my own food or stick strictly to what I knew was within my standards. Sometimes that meant eating very little. Over time, I became more lenient—I’ll now eat things without a hechsher, telling myself, “It’s probably fine, and I need to eat.” But I know deep down it’s not right. I want to return to how I used to be, but I can’t seem to get back there.
Answer: Everyone faces spiritual challenges—some loud, some quiet. Not all spiritual challenges come with loud drama or visible temptation. Sometimes, they show up as slow compromises, rationalizations, or weariness. What they all have in common is this: they’re meant to lift us. A test isn’t a punishment; it’s an invitation to reach higher, an opportunity.
There’s a story about a young man who had been connected to a Chabad House but began turning down Shabbat invitations. The Rabbi, noticing the man seemed to be hiding something, gently asked what changed. The young man admitted he was planning to marry a non-Jewish woman. The Rabbi made him a deal: “if you will travel with me to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and tell the Rebbe your news, I will attend your wedding.” The young man agreed.
When he stood before the Rebbe and explained, the Rebbe looked him in the eye and said, “You have no idea how much I envy you.” The man was stunned. The Rebbe continued, “A test is a ladder. The greater the test, the higher the person is elevated when passing the test. You were given a tremendous test and so too you were gifted with a very tall ladder. I envy you. I was never given such a test and therefore was not given the opportunity to ascend such a higher ladder.”
The man left the Rebbe’s room, sat on a bench and cried. After an hour, he said to his Rabbi, “I’m calling off the wedding.”
As Rabbi Michael Taib explains, a powerful yetzer hara isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of deep inner strength. The Rebbe Rashab taught that those with intense struggles also have elevated souls capable of overcoming them. The potential is already there. The test is only revealing it.
Consider the following parable: A king once gave two soldiers a mission. Both were to journey through a forest filled with traps, but one was given a torch, a map, and a guide. The other was sent with nothing. When asked why he made it harder for one soldier, the king replied, “Because I trust him more. He doesn’t need help. I know his strength.”
When your life takes you to far-off places, and your familiar structures fall away, you may feel like the soldier sent without guidance. But that’s only because you’ve been trusted with more. Your test is tailored to your soul’s strength.
Your struggle with kashrut isn’t a sign that you’ve fallen. It’s a sign that you’re being called upward. The ladder is still there. All that’s left is to take the first step.
Aharon Schmidt is the editor of Living Jewish, a weekly Chabad publication; Shliach in Ramat Beit Shemesh Alef; and therapist specializing in marriage and individual counseling. To receive Living Jewish, email: [email protected]
For more information about therapy services, visit: www.aharonschmidt.com
To receive periodic ideas on navigating marriage and personal growth, reach out to: [email protected]
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