Follow ChabadInfo & Never Miss an Update!

Follow us on Instagram Subscribe to our WhatsApp status and broadcast Follow us on Tiktok Follow us on Facebook Follow us on X Follow us on Google News Subscribe on YouTube

By HaRav Yosef Yeshaya Braun

Women Eating Before Kiddush

Concerning women who do not daven Shacharis on Shabbos morning – until what time may such women eat before kiddush? If her husband will make kiddush for her late, can she eat “breakfast” until kiddush? Is there a period of time before kiddush during which she should no longer eat?

It is necessary even for women to daven. However, if for whatever reason you didn’t daven then you must make kiddush before you eat. If you can’t make on wine you can make on [grape juice, tea or] coffee, and then eat. #6796*

Kiddush before Davening

My friend has an elderly and frail mother. She wakes up early on Shabbos morning and davens almost right away. It’s hard for her to make kiddush, so she asked her son to make for her. At that time he is still before davening, but he doesn’t want to keep her waiting. Can he make kiddush and be motzi her before davening? (Obviously he’ll make kiddush again for himself after davening).

Similarly, sometimes on Friday night he didn’t daven Kabbolas Shabbos/Maariv yet but doesn’t want to keep her waiting. Is it a problem to make kiddush Friday night before davening?

Yes, no problem. He may in both cases. Alternatively, she may make kiddush on (grape juice, preferably, or on) coffee/tea. #24348*

Nursing Mother

Can a nursing mother drink before kiddush or havdala?

Night time kiddush: One may not drink even water before kiddush. When lighting candles, a woman may stipulate not to accept Shabbos till sunset, to be able to drink afterwards. If it’s already sunset, or if she didn’t stipulate she may not drink without kiddush, but can make kiddush on challah, or if not possible – even coffee or tea, if necessary. If making kiddush isn’t practically possible, and she is very thirsty, there is room for leniency to drink water if it’s still before sunset.

Daytime kiddush: Once she already davened, she is obligated in kiddush and the same answer applies. The order of priorities for daytime kiddush is coffee or tea before bread. However, in desperate situations, a nursing mother may be lenient and drink water if making kiddush isn’t practically possible.

Havdala: Strictly speaking, one may drink water before havdala, although Chabad minhag is not to. There is room to be lenient to drink even seltzer or coffee and tea without sugar and milk if necessary. However, if already drinking coffee or tea, one should make havdala directly on them. #2015*

Women & Havdala: A Summary of Laws

Women may not eat or drink prior to havdala, just like men.

Women can either fulfill their obligation to hear havdala through listening to the havdala of another person or through saying it themselves, just as is the law by men. However, if a man has already fulfilled the obligation of havdala he may not repeat havdala for women who did not yet hear havdala unless there is a man who is also fulfilling his obligation with this havdala. Therefore, in cases where such a man is not present, a woman must make havdala herself.

A man cannot fulfill his obligation of havdala from a woman, but another woman can.

When a woman hears havdala from someone else, it is better for her to be yotzei and only listen (but not recite) the blessings of besamim and meorei ha’eish. (Nonetheless, those women who are accustomed to recite them to themselves have upon whom to rely upon.) However, when a woman is the one making havdala, she is to recite these two blessings.

The custom is that women do not look at the nails, although they are required to be within view of the flame, and be close enough to benefit from its light.

When a woman makes havdala she must drink the wine. Otherwise, the custom (in general) is that women do not drink from the left-over wine of havdala.

If a woman cannot say havdala over wine she can use grape juice (preferably), or warm tea or coffee. Alternatively, she can say havdala over wine and give it to another woman or girl to drink, but not to a man. #9412*

Women and Wine: Kiddush vs. Havdala

It is considered mitzva min hamuv’char (an optimal level of mitzva performance) for all participants to taste the kiddush wine. With regard to havdala, however, there is no mitzva for others to partake of the wine. In fact, there are authorities who caution against women drinking the wine of havdala. The prevailing minhag (custom) is that only the person reciting the havdala drinks, and neither men nor women listeners sip the wine.

Several reasons have been offered for the minhag of women refraining from drinking havdala wine. One reason stems from the halacha that a man may not be yotzei from a woman’s havdala, and a man may not recite havdala for a woman if he has already fulfilled his obligation.* Some suggest that the custom that men participants don’t drink the wine developed from the restriction on women, while others state that any and all participants should abstain for completely independent reasons.

There is no issue for a woman who makes havdala for herself (and other women) to thereafter drink the wine. Halacha2Go #833

*References are available for this Halacha on: www.Halacha2Go.com and www.AskTheRav.com

Please note that these halachos apply in general situations, if you are unsure whether the halacha applies to your particular situation, please consult a Rav.

230