Beis Moshiach
  • How to Challenge ”Good Kids” to Grow?

    Challenges are essential for growth. How can we challenge talented children who “have it easy,” so they don’t meet sudden surprises later in the “Chutes and Ladders” game of life? • By Henny Elishevitz, Beis Moshiach • Full Article

    Henny Elishevitz, Beis Moshiach

    How do we know that a Jew is truly “alive”? In a sicha (Parshas Vayechi 5730) the Rebbe provides the formula: when he goes through trials, difficulties, and confusion in his Avodas Hashem, yet he continues to cleave to G-d by fulfilling His Torah and mitzvos.

    The challenges, the hardships, and the tests – with all the pain and difficulty they entail, usually strengthen, invigorate, and prove — to the world and to ourselves — how much we really can.

    It is important to challenge each child in the place where he is currently holding – even when we’re talking about, thank G-d, a very successful and talented child. Yet, how do we challenge such children? By setting appropriate tasks.

    And now comes the question of questions: How will we know what is appropriate for him? The answer provided by the approach developed by my dear mother and master educator, Mrs. Ester Meizlish, is quite simple and starts by making good on the Rebbe’s directive in Hayom Yom: “It an absolute duty for every person to spend a half hour every day thinking about the Torah-education of children.”

    What should we think about? The child’s development: at what stage is he best suited now, his inclinations – what he likes and doesn’t like to do, special talents, specific difficulties, etc., and his social and emotional status. It is desirable to start in the area where he is strongest in any case. Here, we can challenge him a little more, then praise him and let him experience a feeling of success.


    When he has accumulated enough successes and points of strength in his arsenal, the child is happy, encouraged, and more confident in the stronger part of his world. Then, it becomes possible to enter the part of his world where he is lacking, to those places where he has greater difficulty, and gently challenge him. Under no circumstances do you make a blanket statement such as “Look how well you succeeded in organizing the Mesibas Shabbos! Surely you can also organize your room nicely.” Unless this is a most exceptional child, this gives no indication whether he knows, wants, or is willing to organize his room.

    So how do we encourage him to try something in an area that so far has been difficult for him? To go through the experience with him once: Go with him into the room and try to understand what’s hard for him, and where he appears to get stuck. Sometimes, we discover that the child just doesn’t know how to carry out the task from a simple technical standpoint or he lacks the necessary skills required to complete the job. Thus, we must take the initiative and show him how he can fulfill the task gradually, more easily, and impressively.

    And again, praise and more praise. Focused and honest praise, describing clearly to the child the action that has earned him this praise. Such praise demonstrates to the child what among his actions were appropriate and special in his parents’ eyes, thereby proving to him that he is capable of achieving success, and what he must do to merit more praise.

    Failure Shouldn’t be Shameful

    And what do we do when the child does not succeed? Here is where the tool of encouragement comes into the picture. The difference between praise and encouragement is that while we are happy to receive praise as an added extra after a success, after a failure, we need encouragement as a first course.

    Encouragement shows the child that he has the ability, even if for the moment it doesn’t completely manifest itself. It emphasizes to him the singular importance of investing effort and highlighting those successes that, thank G-d, do exist.

    Now, we can examine together what difficulties are currently standing in the way of success? Is it something emotional? Something technical? A lack in certain knowledge? Then, we focus upon the problem itself, providing the appropriate response, in a sense of partnership with the child to set out once again along the path to the plateau of success…

    It’s important to remember that to allow the child to have his “freedom” with some respect, we sometimes need to give him the chance to choose another alternative: “Do you want to do this or that? This way or that way?” By presenting things in such a way, this already poses a challenge, enabling him to find the strength to deal with the issue at hand by his own choice. In the final analysis, the whole purpose for the Creation was that we should take action in the world through the power of our free choice. With G-d’s help, we will reach the point that in the merit of our actions and our efforts, we will see the Divine revelation of the True and Complete Redemption, immediately, mamash, now!


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  • Event Calendar

  • Tuesday, Oct 27th, Wedding – Shlome Wolvovsky – CH & Rochel Leah Matusof – Madison, WI @ Oholei Torah
  • Thursday Oct 29th Wedding: Devorah Bennish – Detroit & Mordechai Rubin – London @ Royalty House, MI
  • Sunday, Oct 25th, Sholli Miller – Chicago, IL & Batya Korf – Miami Beach, FL @ Bais Rivka 310 Crown Street
  • Thursday, Oct 22 Wedding: Chaim Boruch Bar-Chaim – CH & Shoshana Pimentelli – CH/TX @ Oholei Torah
  • Thursday, Oct 22 L’Chaim: Sruli Finck – CH & Chaya Mangel – Dayton, OH @ Chovevei Torah 885 Eastern Parkway
  • Tuesday, Oct 20th Wedding: Dovid Kaminetzky – Melbourne, AU & Chaya Okunov – Crown Heights @ Oholei Torah
  • Monday Oct 19 L’Chaim: Ari (Aaron) Levertov – Crown Heights & Debby Rabinowicz – Sao Paulo, Brazil @ Choivevey Torah
  • Monday, Oct 19 2015 Wedding: Mendy Zippel – Salt Lake City, UT & Fraidy Shagalov – Crown Heights @ Oholei Torah
  • Sunday 18th Oct. L’Chaim: Chananya Niassoff – CH & Tzirl Brennan – CH @ Bais Rivkah Crown St
  • Sunday Oct 18th – Wedding: Mendy Edelman – Crown Heights & Sara Lozenik – Miami, FL @ Oholei Torah
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  • Urgent Tehillim Needed
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  • Lost and Found

  • Lost Men’s Heavy Black Winter Jacket Size Large in 770
  • Lost in 770 before Pesach, a black Bradley Jons long coat size 38R. No lining and no belt. Almost brand new! Please call zalman at 347-788-0749
  • Found black hats outside 770, behind the Hatzalah ambulance
  • lost – Chitas bearing a blessing to Shmuel from Sarge. (Sargent Zvi Fisher z..l.v) [email protected] or +1-7869427070
  • LOST: in 770 a black Lenovo Intel core i5 laptop in a dark grey laptop bad together with a WD hard drive, if found please call Zalmy 347-788-0749
  • Found: Maroon Chitas
  • Found: Bag of Clothes
  • Found: Leather-Bound Pink Siddur
  • Lost: Box with Mini Shas from YSP
  • Lost: Rose Gold Bangle/Bracelet
  • Classifieds

  • Cook position for a local Mosad
  • Looking for a cook/kitchen manager
  • Administrator for a local Mosad Experience a must, and preferbiligual a bonus [email protected]
  • Looking for a cook/kitchen manager Experience a must. [email protected]
  • ‘Beis Mosiach’s’ to give away for free
  • Private Rooms for Men
  • Newly renovated Basement for rent
  • Judaica Store in Crown Heights is Looking to Hire
  • Looking for Work? Opportunity available, for a quick & efficient typist in Williamsburg. For more info: 201-800-1774
  • Lost in 770 Last Week: Transparant Bag of Tefillin, Rashi, R”T, Chitas – in black/grey 770 pouches