Befriending Married Women on Facebook




    Shifra Vepua

    Befriending Married Women on Facebook

    Last week I got a friend request on Facebook from a married women • I am ashamed to admit that I was not sure if I should confirm or not. Written by Moshe L. • Full Article

    Written by Moshe L.

    Before I relate the story and state my opinion, I would like to clarify that I am not a Rabbi and will not state a Halachic opinion, only relate the experience, my thoughts, and finally, the decision I made, with which I am quite content.

    So, I recently moved into a new community that some would call an “open” community. Besides this, people are very welcoming, so we made friends very easily.

    After a couple of months, one day as I signed into my Facebook account, I saw a new friend request from Mrs. E. C.

    I thought that was quiet strange, since from the little I had gathered she seemed to be quite a Frum women, but then again, we do live in strange world. I mean, is this a common phenomenon these days, faced by many?

    For a number of days, I mulled over whether I should accept. On the one hand if I did, it seemed so inappropriate, however if I refused, it would be obviously apparent and would greatly offend Mrs E.C.

    Of course, I consulted with my Rav/Mapshpia and had an honest conversation with my wife as to how she and I should/would feel about it.

    I will not share with the readers the result of both of those discussions, as I think everyone should speak to their own Rav and soulmate.

    A few days later, I happened to notice on my Facebook page a note showing that “Mendy C. (a close friend of mine) has become friends with Mrs. C.A”.

    Strangely enough, seeing this one sentence brought great clarity on this sensitive issue. That sentence and what it implied seemed so inappropriate that it immediately became clear to me what my decision would be.

    Oh, and Mrs. E.C. is still quite friendly with our family…


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    1. Touchy Subject

      Very touchy subject…I am very impressed that you agreed to share this story.

    2. Strange logic

      I can understand the conclusion, but the logic that brought you to this, is quiet strange. But I can understand that different strokes for different folks…

    3. ZEV K

      The stuff that goes on Facebook today is absolutely ridiculous, perhaps the writer should consider cancelling his account? For the good of his family and his children.

    4. Stay strong

      I think there is a strong lesson in this story, if you keep to your values, you will win.

    5. critic

      What a ridiculous story

    6. critic

      Wow…this is a pretty racy topic… I am surprised that ChabadInfo would publish this article. I am not against, just saying that you gotta hold on to your standards.

    7. Zelda

      What standards, maybe ChabadInfo is upholding the standards??? Such criticsim!!

    8. Mother

      When I was on Facebook I saw that often people would “friend” others to promote their businesses.

    9. Reuven Ross

      All Gedolei Yisroel have said that one should not have a facebook account.

    10. Menachem

      Thank you for sharing!
      As one can see, some of commentators think it’s inappropriate to talk about this, better to do something wrong than to talk about it…
      Unfortunately, many of our senses have become dulled, because of all this technology and shtusim at our disposal (pun intended) and popping up In our faces.
      Yes we need to talk about it and remind people of what is right and what isn’t. Bringing it up – reminds people to be sensitive!

    11. Chaim Zev

      I agree with the writer and my policy is that I only accept women friend requests from relatives.
      I also have a question, the writer writes “since from the little I had gathered she seemed to be quite a Frum women” which means to me that he does not really know who the woman is, but he concludes “Oh, and Mrs. E.C. is still quite friendly with our family” which means he does know who she is!
      But in any way, we have to be strong and fight this Klipah of all inclusiveness between the genders – _Rachmono Litzlan – it’s going from bad to worse.

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