• Not a Cookie Cutter

    I am a recovering Chabadnick. I know what you are thinking. You’re picturing someone with black pants, a white shirt, a black hat, jacket – and definitely a beard • Full Article

    I am a recovering Chabadnick.

    I know what you are thinking. You’re picturing someone with black pants, a white shirt, a black hat, jacket – and definitely a beard.

    The funny thing about that is that I currently have no hat, no jacket and no full beard. For those of you who are still reading this (either for some ammunition for the comments section or…) you may be asking yourself, is this guy really a Chabadnick? Perhaps this person is in a detox program?!

    My group meeting is for all you readers that are perhaps trying to put me in a box that has a label.

    But, what you label me is not as important as who I really am.

    I’m a Chabadnick. I finally realize that Chabad isn’t an alcoholic program where we are addicted to conformity, where we are obsessed and addicted to the perfect type – the perfect kid, to the social norms that define our society. Where you are unloved because of who you aren’t, where you can be looked down even if you don’t have a white shirt.

    I am a Chabadnick – I’ve completed my Smicha and I’m here to do good in the world. To live with my faults and deal with my own idiosyncrasies. I try to live like the Rebbe taught us; to love everyone and do acts of kindness when I can. I don’t judge others and I don’t like to be judged and labeled.

    So I’m a recovering Chabadnick, taking it one day at a time. I try not to take any abuse that I get.

    I want to thank Bais Toras Menachem for giving me the opportunity to learn Smicha in a stimulating and accepting environment. Most importantly, I’d like to thank my amazing teachers who have taught me without judging me and for letting me grow on my own. I am grateful for the friendships I built here and the love that I received.

    I recognize that there is a higher power. I am beholden to the Rebbe’s standards although I may fall very short. I want to thank the Rebbe who has guided me throughout my life.

    Don’t we all fall short?!

    I learn Chassidus every morning. I daven. I am learning Smicha.

    I would like to think that I somehow can still be accepted.


    And who knows?

    Maybe one day I might accidentally wear a white shirt too.



    A student and an advocate of Bais Toras Menachem


    Related Posts:

    1. Love it. Be who you are with healthy self esteem self honor dignity and self worth.

      Bless you sir whom ever you are. I salute you. I would at 75-80% compare myself with you. However I’ve surpassed you by 2 decades. Please be strong.

      I must ask however, after understanding where your coming from and who you are !!

      Your point is…..?

      Shana Tova ,

      Been there done that.
    2. In the sixties and seventies we had hippies, and “groovies” and “squares”, and people who were “with-it” and those who were not. But, with all of this shtus and tumah swirling around our heads – we always knew that a chossid remains a chossid! How did it come that we have now, a phenomenon of “chill” etc. ?!
      Why was there no “chill” before? THAT is where the problem lies. THAT is what needs to be corrected. Doing a sin, and then doing teshuva is great! But what’s even better is preventing the sin from happening in the first place.
      Don’t create new medicines for new R”L illnesses – PREVENT PEOPLE FROM GETTING SICK, and then you won’t need the farsholtener “medicines” in the first place!
      Kill the bugs BEFORE they can raise their ugly head, and then you don’t have to deal with a “bug” and then need to make a medicine to combat it.
      By “bugs” I am referring to AMALEK – (gematria SOFEK) ELIMINATE the sofek.
      K’siva Va’chasima tova, l’shana tovah u’mesuka

      funny thing is....
    3. This young man is unfortunately mistaken, in many ways.
      A) Being a chabadnik means being a chossid of the Rebbe MH””M. You have many other types of chassiduyos that learn tanya and chassidus, but they are not labeled as chabadnikim.
      Being a chossid of the Rebbe MH”M means listening and following his horaos, such as chitas and rambam. The Rebbe MH”M time and time again reminded people who did not have a beard of the PSAK DIN of the Tzemach Tzedek that it is ASUR MID’ORAISA to trim one’s beard. Hence, one who trim’s his beard cannot honestly call himself a chossid of the Rebbe MH”M and by definition, a chabadnik.
      B) This young man is apparently strongly against anybody else CHAS V’SHALOM defining what it means to be a chabadnik, and yet within the same breath, goes ahead and lays out his own definitions of what it means to be a chabadnik. If you stipulate that no one can rightfully define chabad, how can you define what it means to be a chabadnik?
      C) Wearing a white shirt has as much to do with being lubavitch with eating 770 cholent. In other words, none. HOWEVER, one of the basic tenets of being a lubavitcher is going with a hat and jacket, AS PER THE HORA’AH OF THE REBBE! If you don’t want to or can’t wear a hat and jacket, no problem, there are many wonderful jews out there who don’t wear hats and jackets, and learn Smicha but you can not, in good consciensce, call yourself a chabadnik.
      יחי המלך

      Unfortunately Misguided
    4. I have been waiting to hear this type of talk for a long time….
      pnimiyus vs. chitzoniyus!
      It’s all about the Aibershter! not about social pressure.
      Simple as that!

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