Marrying a Girl from a Non-Frum Family
If a shidduch is suggested with a good girl who has yiras Shamayim and is a ba’alas midos tovos, but her parents were mechalelei Shabbos, or weren’t generally frum, some people may mistakenly consider it grounds for rejecting the shidduch. By Horav Yosef Yeshaya Braun, member of the Badatz of Crown Heights • Full Article
By Horav Yosef Yeshaya Braun, member of the Badatz of Crown Heights
If a shidduch is suggested with a good girl who has yiras Shamayim and is a ba’alas midos tovos, but her parents were mechalelei Shabbos, or weren’t generally frum, some people may mistakenly consider it grounds for rejecting the shidduch.
This may be due to the concern that her parents’ marriage might not have been halachically in order, or that taharas hamishpachah may not have been observed.
However, marrying such a girl is actually preferable to marrying a girl from a frum family who does not have those qualities. In fact, Sefer Chassidim implies that it’s often better to marry a giyores than someone from a Jewish family; a baalas teshuvah is likewise on a higher plane than tzadikim gemurim.
Therefore, the order of priority is: a giyores, then a ba’alas teshuvah—provided they both have yiras Shamayim and are of upstanding character, and then a girl from a frum family who does not possess such sterling qualities. (It should be noted that a birur yuchasin (establishing proper lineage) is always necessary, to alleviate any concerns about halachic eligibility for marriage.)
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