I am a recovering Chabadnick.
I know what you are thinking. You’re picturing someone with black pants, a white shirt, a black hat, jacket – and definitely a beard.
The funny thing about that is that I currently have no hat, no jacket and no full beard. For those of you who are still reading this (either for some ammunition for the comments section or…) you may be asking yourself, is this guy really a Chabadnick? Perhaps this person is in a detox program?!
My group meeting is for all you readers that are perhaps trying to put me in a box that has a label.
But, what you label me is not as important as who I really am.
I’m a Chabadnick. I finally realize that Chabad isn’t an alcoholic program where we are addicted to conformity, where we are obsessed and addicted to the perfect type – the perfect kid, to the social norms that define our society. Where you are unloved because of who you aren’t, where you can be looked down even if you don’t have a white shirt.
I am a Chabadnick – I’ve completed my Smicha and I’m here to do good in the world. To live with my faults and deal with my own idiosyncrasies. I try to live like the Rebbe taught us; to love everyone and do acts of kindness when I can. I don’t judge others and I don’t like to be judged and labeled.
So I’m a recovering Chabadnick, taking it one day at a time. I try not to take any abuse that I get.
I want to thank Bais Toras Menachem for giving me the opportunity to learn Smicha in a stimulating and accepting environment. Most importantly, I’d like to thank my amazing teachers who have taught me without judging me and for letting me grow on my own. I am grateful for the friendships I built here and the love that I received.
I recognize that there is a higher power. I am beholden to the Rebbe’s standards although I may fall very short. I want to thank the Rebbe who has guided me throughout my life.
Don’t we all fall short?!
I learn Chassidus every morning. I daven. I am learning Smicha.
I would like to think that I somehow can still be accepted.
And who knows?
Maybe one day I might accidentally wear a white shirt too.
A student and an advocate of Bais Toras Menachem